Here are the steps for conquering social anxiety:
Social anxiety is a very common problem. There are many causes, but most people can recover without any type of counseling by a professional. If you have this problem, the effects of it can be quite unsettling. There may be feelings of isolation, self-consciousness, or nervousness around groups along with a number of physical symptoms too. Sometimes, these people get shaky hands, sweaty hands, or nausea in their abdomen.
There are certain things you can do to help you to overcome this ailment. Below is a description of five ways that work.
If you are not comfortable in a natural live setting, try the virtual one. Perhaps you like to travel or to grow flowers. There are so many chat boards based on these areas. By going online, you can take a look at them and see what the people who do these things are like. If you look for friendly people, then you can sign up and post your blogs on there as well. You must first socialize, even if it is not in person.
Once you have done this, move on to the next step. Broaden your horizons and talk to more people, but this time, do it in person. You can join a live group in your area that will give you the necessary support you need. Remember, they are exactly the same way as you are and your group’s leader will know how to engage people in ways that do not seem threatening to anyone. Be sure that you go and have lots of fun!
After this, you should talk to several of the group and see if they would like to go have coffee or perhaps take a walk.
It will probably not be near as terrifying as you imagine. You might find that it is easier to talk and enjoy other people’s company.
Once you get comfortable in your group, invite a group of people to your home for dinner or lunch. It does not have to be a whole lot of people, maybe four. You should be a more confident person by now without the sweat and heart palpitating all the while you are talking to someone. With your experience now and the support of your group, you are ready to take the big plunge.
All during the process, make sure you write in a journal or diary about all of these different milestones toward conquering your social anxiety. Write down what your thoughts are, and also anything positive that has happened to you and things that people find in you that makes you a good friend. The list will be much longer than you think it will. You can look back and just enjoy this memento of your success. Good luck with your journey!
I know Jeff – you gave another great explanation also in a comment on another post very intelligently explaining how others are just consumed with their own lives and when you are socially nervous its easy to overthink things.
I know til high school i was very socially awkward, it was worst between 12 and 16. I think i was raised to always be concerned what everyone else thought which in turn almost lowered my self esteem because i was never concerned about my own needs in public but only others. If you are shy or nervous, nobody will think you are mean not giving them a huge smile and saying hello as long as you come across cordial and not anti social or angry.
I remember when i was young – around 16 to 18 i literally was nervous talking to the fast food customer service people and food preparers. Its so pointless to add hypertension getting fast food. But i did it. Im glad i got some relief. I dont know how i overcame it, i think part of it was i was surrounded in my 18 plus years with confident people and friends that helped show me not to worry. Forcing myself to be confident and do things in my life to make me more confident / comfortable seemed to help but it was a slow timely process.